With our kids now home all day, you may be hearing more of, “Hey, Mom, I need help!” or “Hey, Dad, can you fix this?” I’m going to show you how you should respond to teach your kids to be more independent.
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Doing More Harm Than Good
Parents, do you sometimes feel like your child has a 24/7 boutique concierge at their beck and call? The minute they ask for something, sometimes even before they ask for it, we the parents are there to save the day.
I have something to share with you and you may not like it.
When you swoop in right away to save the day, you may actually be doing more harm than good.
If we’re always there to solve our kids’ problems, they don’t have a chance to figure it out for themselves. And by not allowing them to experience that delayed gratification, which builds self-control, it builds the ability to self regulate and it builds in that very important executive skill, which is called response inhibition.
How to Respond to Teach Your Kids to be More Independent
Instead of jumping in right away (unless it’s an emergency, of course), here’s how you should respond:
1️⃣ Do nothing – tell them to hold on. Stall for a bit and see if they resolve the issue on their own. Most of the time, this will be the case.
2️⃣ Use guiding questions to prompt them to try to solve the problem on their own. Ask:
📌 “What do you think we should do?”
📌 “Why do you think it’s not working?”
📌 “Where could we look to get more help or some answers?”
✅ Try these responses the next time little Johnny 👦 or little Susie 👧 calls out for help.
⭐ You may be pleasantly surprised at their resourcefulness!
Now that you know how you should respond to teach your kids to be more independent, go ahead and try it at home. Leave me a comment and let me know how it goes. And share this post with a parent who might find it helpful.
Have you checked out my last post?
It’s all about how we should speak to our kids to get them to listen and do what we want them to do. Read it here.